Wednesday, December
24th, 2003
Happy Holliday's Everyone!
I hope you get half the things you wanted and all the things others wanted for you. I got the toy I've been wanting and it's only Christmas Eve. I am writing this from my living room on my plasma TV now that I got my USB wireless key. I also updated a few pictures of my sff PC if you'd like to take a look in the Photo Gallery.
GonnaBiteIt DM SavetheDotCom.org
Wednesday, December 17th, 2003
In light of events, I have decided that maybe we have all misunderstood Saddam Hussein and I tried to do an in depth study of “Saddam Hussein the man”. In this search for the inner man, I attempted to interview several people. First I tracked down the Information minister. I asked him to describe Saddam the person and all I got out of him is, “there is no person in Saddam. His person is nowhere to be found” and he quickly disappeared.
Next I tried to contact Uday and Qusay. After searching the rubble for what seemed like 20 minutes or so I realized there was no way I was going to be able to dig that deep and gave up.
I ran on the spot interviews with the average Juesf on the street and all I could get out of them were fearful stares and grunts.
So what did we find out about Saddam Hussein the man? Basically this - He is a grunting, fearful individual with no personality what so ever according to those who know him best.
SoonDead CLO SavetheDotCom.org
Sunday, December 14th, 2003
So, Saddam Hussein has finally been captured in a small little hole in the ground. I am sure all of the news media is scrambling to be the first one to interview him. Too late, here it is. The very first exclusive interview with the Bad Man of Bagdad.
Me: Mr. Bad, the first pictures of you were very unflattering. What are your feelings about being shown in such a state
Mr. Bad: What do you expect? I just woke up. I was below ground and didn’t hear them knock on the door. Had I known they were coming I would have cleaned up place a bit.
Me: How long had you been down there?
Mr. Bad I’m not really sure. I was in the middle of a sensory deprivation experiment. What year is it?
Me: 2003.
Mr. Bad: No kidding? By my calculations the American infidels would give up and leave by June 2005. I was hoping to wait them out. Umm, I mean it seems like I have been down there a lot longer. You will edit that first remark before you air this right?
Me: Sure. With all of your money you stole from the Iraqi people couldn’t you have afforded something cleaner than that spider hole they found you in?
Mr. Bad: What?
Me: With all of your money you stole from the Iraqi people couldn’t you have afforded something cleaner than that spider hole they found you in?
Mr. Bad: I heard you the first time. I didn’t know there were spiders there! Dammit! Why didn’t anybody tell me! Do I have any spiders on my back?
Me: Are you going to help the allied forces disarm your elite guards now that you have been captured so Iraq can get on with the healing and rebuilding they so desperately need?
Mr. Bad Get them off me!! I can feel them crawling all over me! Help!!
Me: When can we expect the ends to the terrorist attacks carried out in your name?
Mr. Bad: AAAGGHHH! They are in my hair! Help me for pete’s sake!
Mr. Bad: Mommy!
Mr. Bad: AAAGGGHHH!!
We will get back to the interview after Mr. Hussein stops running around and throwing himself against the walls. Saddam! I see one on the side of your head! Heh. This is fun. No you didn’t get it yet. Hit it harder. LOL. No the other side of your head now. HAAAAAAAAA. WooooHaaaaHaaahaa!! Heeheeheehee. Now it’s on your shoulder! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I’m going to wet myself!
Haaaaaaaaaaahahaha. Oh yeah. Merry Christmas everybody.
SoonDead CLO SavetheDotCom.org
Wednesday, December 10th, 2003
Congratulations Napster!!
Who is Napster? What have you been living under the mold that is covered by a rock? Napster was quite possibly the biggest expression of free trade ever conceived and when I say free I me FREE!! It didn’t cost a dime, you didn’t have to put up any of your hard earned cash! The TCO was zero, zip, nada, the big blank, a goose egg!! Get it now? Ok let me dumb it down a bit for you mister sloped forehead.
Back in 1999 a gentleman named Shawn Fanning was going to school at northwestern university where he decided he needed to build a system where by he and his friends could share this new music format with each other called mp3’s. The idea was to make it really easy to just open up a small portion of your system so people that had the client could quickly get a copy of the songs you had and you could get a copy of the songs they had. What a great idea! Obviously too great because it wasn’t more than a couple of months and there were about 25 million clients and by the end of the year the record industry decided it needed to flex its fascist muscles and sued them for who knows what. Was it illegal? I’m sure if these people were sending cassette tapes of songs to each other the record companies wouldn’t have even turned a head but with mp3’s compression we are now getting a CD quality copy that they claim was losing them money. Their greed lost them the money. Price a CD down low enough to make creating your own not worth it and the people would have bought them just for the convenience.
Anyway, the end of the history lesson. After all of the hardships and all of the pitfalls Napster is now going legit. I even see commercials proclaiming they are back. Ya! They are back alright. What was once an expression of freedom has now been corrupt. Napster has become one of them at 99 cents a track. If we wanted to pay 17 bucks a CD we would go down to the store and buy it. Man! Up until now I though Lars was the big papa of compromising principals.
So to this I say: Congratulations Napster!! You have become the first dot com that save the dot com has no sympathy for.
SoonDead CLO SavetheDotCom.org
Friday, December 5th, 2003
Well, its that time of year again, it’s Christmas time. Or, as the political hacks in their infinite quest to not offend anybody have renamed it, it’s Winter Holliday time.
Make me sick. Lets quit trying to be so careful and be ourselves guys. Wouldn’t that be fun? Have Dick Cheny get in front of the cameras and have them ask him why we are still losing troops in Iraq and have him look at them and say: "Go to hell, this is a war idiots!!!".
Ah but I dream. Back to the subject at hand. Christmas time!! I have quite a list of people to get presents for so here we go. I have 11 (I hope I haven’t forgotten about any) nieces and nephews to buy presents for. I think I will just go to etoys.com and get all of them presents at the same time. Shoot. I can’t. etyos.com is no longer doing business. Oh well I can go over to esave.com and just get them some online gift certificates. Dammit! They are out of business too.
Oh well, lets go on to my brothers and sisters. I have this idea I am batting around and get them a nice up to date family photo but since we haven’t been in the same place at the same time for a while I need to get some pictures and have them fused into one family picture. I can go to familypoint.com to get that done. DOH!!! They are out of business too.
Well, as you can see I am having some problems with my shopping. I’m not sure what I am going to do this year. I may have to go out somewhere and buy something. Yuk! The crowds, the people, I just can’t stand the idea. Maybe I can just give them cash. At least that way all I have to do is go to the bank. Happy Winter Holliday (as I keep my lunch from coming up).
SoonDead CLO SavetheDotCom.org