Posted by ACE3 Enterprises on 3/31
RAGE SWEEP BOMBERS
The Orlando Rage snapped out of their funk by visiting the deep south and to Birmingham to record their first sweep of the season.

The Bombers' skipper George Brett responded: "We pitched well for the most part, unfortunately we left the bats in the clubhouse."  He later told the club they were having extra batting practice and proving that he was going to actually manage this team, unlike his last managerial stop in this league in Portland. "It's mandatory if you want to continue playing for me!"

(Editor's note: It could be noted by a casual observer that by having extra batting practice, that it's tiring the players to the point that they can't hit straight come game time. Just saying.)

Posted by Larry on 3/29
STARS BREAK OUT THE BROOMS
Stars break out the broom on the Trumps....obvious most of the team got in very late from the gaming tables.  Playing craps turned into playing like crap......

Posted by SDX International on 3/27
This owner thanks the commissioner for this Rickey Henderson-style-talking-about-himself-in-the-third-person note and for the service provided by the office-holder.

Message provided by SDX, Inc., the worldwide leader in pleasure sports, losing baseball teams and appreciator of the Royal We.

Posted by Commissioner's Office on 3/25
WEEK 4 DEADLINE CHANGE
As the commissioner will be out of town this coming weekend, the deadline for game play for week 4 is being extended to 10:00 p.m. CDT on MONDAY, APRIL 2. The team setup deadline on Tuesday will remain the same.

Posted by ASPN Final Score on 3/25
FEW SURPRISES IN SEASON'S THIRD WEEK
Three weeks into a 22-week season is definetly early to make any conclusions about the season, but it can be said that the usual suspects are near the top of the league table at the nine-game mark. Oklahoma has gotten off to the best start at 8-1 after taking a sweep in Orlando last week, while Sacramento and Atlantic City are both tied atop their respective divisions.

Tucson, who has wallowed around the .500 mark for the past three seasons have a ray of hope, and took their third series, getting out of the block at 7-2, while Spokane has powered behind uber-ace Justin Verlander to a 6-3 start in their new home (While the team was in Buffalo, they did really well in odd-numbered years, but not so well in the even-numbered years). Spokane swept by divisional opponents Las Vegas, while Tucson took two from San Jose.

Birmingham is behind the tutelage of new manager George Brett, who previously led the now-defunct Portland Beaverwhackers to a pair of XBL titles, have started the season 7-2, a game behind Oklahoma.

The two expansion teams are both off to nice starts at 4-5 as well, but we'll see how long Boise and Staten Island can keep that pace up.

For the fourth week, Birmingham stays home to play host Orlando on Tracker Marine night, when the classic bullpen cars are replaced by bass boats on trailers, while Oklahoma looks to keep their league-best start going at home against Staten Island, and Indiana returns home to face the test awaiting them in the form of east division-leading Atlantic City Trumps.

While the division leaders are no real surprise thus far, there are some new teams not far behind the leaders.

Posted by Trump International on 3/25
Commenting on The Staten Island Armada's 4-5 start: It won't last.

Reporter: It wouldn't seem likley, but The Donald expects perfection....

Press Agent for the Armada: Just no. We start Ricky Nolasco for crissakes!

Reporter: He's pitched for successful teams before in this league.

Press Agent: When he was a decent pitcher...We expect to be on the level of Mr. Trump's other two teams in due time, we'd love it to be this year, but we're also willing to be patient. Thank you.

Posted by SDX International on 3/24
SWEEP! SWEEP!
After the Rage played a couple of close ones with the Rockhounds, Orlando manager Stewie Griffin said, "Hmm? What? Oh yes, the Rage. It's sort of a wHHeird thing. We seem to have the intestinal fortitude to play adequately at the old pitch and hit game, but in the long run, we're just good enough to come close to contending with the contender. It pains me to say this, but that bunch from the Southern Plains sure are a brawny group. Such sinewy muscles ... fit and trim physiques ... oiled up bulges ... ah yes. That's the stuff!"

It would also help if Orlando's supposedly top hitters, you know, hit and junk. Maybe the Rage plans on waiting until they're well out of the race to start playing well again.

On that, if anyone has a solid starting outfielder who's not a 1, we have plenty of outstanding starting-quality players who could play DH, first base or even outfield (terribly).

As to the Craps, manager Richard Cheese keeps saying his team has the guns to dominate the shootout that's the XBL season, but with Tulowitzki hitting .143, Torii Hunter batting .037 and Melky Cabrera and Markakis both well under .200, that may not be the case. In fact, several reports out of the desert say Cheese is on thin ice.

"Hey, daddy-O, we aren't hitting, we aren't pitching, can't run very well and all that, but it's Vegas, baby! Woo!" Cheese said.

Things may change soon in Las Vegas if the Craps don't start turning things around. Drive through.

Posted by ACE3 Enterprises on 3/24
BOMBERS CONTINUE HOT START
The Birmingham Bombers continue their hot start to the season passing the first real test, at least in the eyes of new skipper George Brett, taking 2 of 3 from the Stars.

Brett has provided the Bombers a nice spark to start the 2011 season, using his prior XBL managerial experience. He won two XBL titles with the now-defunct Portland Beaverwhackers, and is looking to bring the Bombers to the playoffs for the first time since 2008, when they tied for the eastern division title.

"After the way game two went I wasn't sure we'd get another win from the Stars, they are a very good ballclub," Brett remarked. "Luckily we toughed it out and took the win in game three."

Posted by Larry on 3/18
In Response to Rhode Island's "On the block" e-mail: How about Bruce and a lifetime supply of Vlasic pickles?

COMMISSIONER'S NOTE: Enjoyed a Vlasic with the hamburger last night! I hear the Stars have a pickle stand at their home games now, in every form! Classic, fried, dill, sweet, spicy.....

Posted by Jason on 3/18
INDIANA WINS TWO AGAINST OLD OWNERSHIP
New Jersey salvaged game three after Indiana took the first two games of this series. New Jersey forced extra innings with a 3 run shot in the ninth inning of game two but were outscored in extras.

Posted by ASPN Final Score on 3/11
OFF AND RUNNING IN THE 12TH SEASON
There were several rocky moments in the run-up to the XBL's 12th season openers, but everything is in and we're off! The defending league champion Quakes, more that a bit dissapointed about having to postpone thier championship party until the second week of the season, took out their aggression on the expansion Boise Badgers, winning all three games. They'll open thier home season this week against the Omaha Rowdies, who also got off to a good start, taking two from Wichita on the road last week.

The South division got the best start under the new alignment, with usual suspects Oklahoma and Orlando taking opening week sweeps. Nashville and Birmingham also won thier series on the road as well. Even expansion Staten Island managed to win thier first game in their history. The Indiana Stars, now on thier third owner and fourth city, took a sweep of the Rhode Island Peanuts in the first game under new ownership.

The East got the worst opening weekend, though. Outside of Indiana, New Jersey, Memphis and Rhode Island were all swept in the first week, while Atlantic City dropped two to Birmingham. The Trumps meet their east coast neighbors in Staten Island next week, while the Stars head for the Hizzouse to meet their former owners in New Jersey. Should be an interesting 2011 season, especially with the comments we've already received below.

Posted by APA Enterprises on 3/11
STEALTH, SLAMMERS WIN OPENING SERIES
Defense was what it was all about for the Stealth in their opening series . The Stealth won the series in surprising fashion against a very tense Craps team.

"They played like crap which is usually the other way around," APA Enterprises CEO Aaron Andera said.

Needing a major overhaul the 2011 Stealth team looked solid in its first series this season.

Posted by Drew on 3/4
CHAMPIONSHIP!!

Posted by Gail on 2/27
BILL MAULDIN CLASSIC ANNOUNCED IN PROVIDENCE
May 9-13 will be glorious for fans of baseball everywhere, but no more so than for the fans of the Peanuts and the tourists of Atlantic City as it is the first meeting for these two teams and that means it is time for another episode of the Bill Mauldin Root Beer Classic!  Yes, root beer will be flowing lacivously at the Vacant Lot at Charles Schulz Memorial Stadium.  It is the only time that kegs are allowed, not only in the dugouts, but on the field as kegs will be place behind first, second and third bases during the first game.

Snoopy himself will be there throughout the festivities and he will be accompanied from time to time by Marbles, Andy and Olaf.  Spike will be there if he doesn't get lost in the desert.  Blue flannel blankets will be given to the first 10,000 thumb-sucking fans at each game.  Don't miss the fun and hilarity that is the Bill Mauldin classic, come join us in quaffing a few (too many) rootbeers!

Posted by Gail on 2/27
From the combined offices of the Omaha Rowdies and the Rhode Island Peanuts: "Need a win? Play us."

Posted by Larry on 1/7
I might wind up being the Frank McCourt of this league...