Posted by ASPN Final Score on 4/29
WEST STILL WILD, OTHER DIVISION LEADERS PULL AWAY
In a week that featured two sweeps, 54 home runs, and a rainout, Minnesota, Oklahoma and Indiana all stretched their respective division leads. But the western division remained tight, as Tucson re-took the division lead, by not only ending the Orlando Rage's undefeated road record this season, but handing them three losses in the series. The Cacti only lead the division by a game over the Spokane Wildcats who dropped the Sacramento Quakes twice. Tucson and Spokane meet for the first time this season this week in Spokane in a clash of the top two western division teams. While Tucson ace Roy Halladay and Spokane ace Justin Verlander are scheduled in this series, they are not expected to start against each other.

In other action this week, traditional rivals Vegas and Sacramento cross bats in the Crackerbox, where Vegas tries to climb out of the cellar, and the Quakes attempt to get last season's mojo back. Birmingham heads to Nashville for part one of the Bass Pro Shops/Tracker Boats I-65 Redneck series, and New Jersey heads to Indiana to try and exact revenge for the Stars' sweep two weeks ago.

Speaking of special series, we're a mere two weeks from the first Bill Mauldin Root Beer Classic of the season between Atlantic City and Rhode Island, which will take place at the Vacant Lot at Charles Schulz Memorial Stadium.

Posted by Gail on 4/29
Double plays kill Peanuts; lose 2 to bombers.

Manager Charlie Brown on discussing the new arrival, Jeff Francoeur:  "Another buffalo pointing the wrong way."

Posted by Trump International on 4/28
Trumps take two thanks to bullpen. It's really nice having John Axford setting up Mariano Rivera....

Posted by SDX International on 4/27
VEGAS VS. ARMADA
Yeah, we won two, but it physically pains me to play this stupid team... hit the ball, turds!

Posted by Larry on 4/25
There's more than spuds, badgers and Mormons in Boise.  Stars take 2 of 3 games in a hard fought series, 7-5, 5-6, 4-3.  In a strategic move, old man Chipper Jones was rested this series.  His replacement, Wes "No One At the" Helms, went 0-10.  Good thing we didn't pay him Pujols type money this year.

P.S.  Got so excited after the first game win, that I forgot to save a file....

Posted by SDX International on 4/23
In response to the Commissioner's not in their posts as of 4/22
Mr. Commissioner:

That wasn't a request. It was a demand. Follow through at once or you shall rue the day you ran afoul of this franchise.
Well? Go on! Start rueing!

-- Stewie G. Griffin, President, CEO, Executioner, Manager, Orlando Rage

Posted by ASPN Final Score on 4/22
INDIANA TIES FOR TOP RECORD HONORS, WEST GETS WILDER
After a prophetic sweep of the New Jersey Rhinos (see below, "E-mail exchange from the Hizzouse"), the Indiana Stars have have vaulted themselves to a four-game lead in the eastern division, mostly be defeating their divisional opponents, running their record in the east to 12-3. That means New Jersey is now in a three-team tie for league's worst record, with Rhode Island, who has won their third straight series, and Nashville, who hasn't quite turned the corner as a franchise. The Stars head home to face the expansion Boise Badgers, who is in a three-way tie at the bottom of the northern division. New Jersey heads to Omaha and Rhode Island brings the Birmingham Bombers into the Vacant Lot.

It's a bit of a different story out west. Tucson took down Vegas in two out of three games, but Spokane by virtue of division record leads the west over Tucson. But only a game back lies both San Jose, the team of Aaron's that has seemed to turn the corner (at least they won't be 4-23 after nine weeks like last year), and Sacramento, who were swept at home by the Orlando Rage, who have run their road record to 12-0 thus far. And despite their profanity-laden tirade this week, Las Vegas is only four games back of the division lead right now. This week, the top four teams in the west do battle when the Quakes head to western Washington to take on Spokane, San Jose heads north of the border to take on Calgary, and Tucson tries to mar the Rage's road record this week.

In other action, Omaha in one week jumped from fifth to second place in the northern division with their sweep of Atlantic City. As stated before, the Rowdies host New Jersey this week. Oklahoma jumped to the league's best start, and host Nashville this week to try and keep Orlando from topping the division.

The divisional races got a bit tighter over the past few weeks, we'll see where the coming weeks take us as the season heads toward the midway point.

Posted by SDX International on 4/22
Based on these results and the 18 other games so far, the Orlando Rage formally demand the rest of the team's games be played on the road this season. Something to do with allergies to fire ants, we're told.

Orlando Rage: Following the Road (only) to Victory.

(Commissioner's note: 1-8 at home and 12-0 on the road....but request is still denied. Stewie needs to stop manufacturing time machines and advanced weaponry, and Petercopters, or maybe just re-hire 3-D as the manager)

Posted by SDX International on 4/22
How Vegas has managed to win 8 games with the way these turds are playing is a (EXPLETIVE DELETED) miracle.

Our best ERA right now is by Darwin (EXPLETIVE DELETED) Barney, who hasn't pitched a day in his life in the bigs. Our supposed ace has given up 10 homers in and THIRTY-(EXPLETIVE DELETED)-SEVEN hits in 34-1/3 innings. How'd he get a 16 grade? Who did he bribe at the APBA offices? Though maybe he should be the "ace." After all, he leads all starters by allowing a minuscule 9.7 hits and a mere 12.8 runners per nine innings. Pa(EXPLETIVE DELETED)thetic.

Oh...oh...and the hitters. Great job by those pantywaists, too. We have all of five guys hitting .200 or better and exactly three with an on-base percentage of .300 or better -- AND ONE OF THEM IS A (EXPLETIVE DELETED) PART-TIME CATCHER! Way to go, gents. We'll try to fend off all the calls from national sponsors and -- what's this? -- Cooperstown on Line 2? Well, how about that? Oh, you want Ian Kennedy's arm to showcase how brutal he's been? JIM, GET THE HACKSAW AND THE SHACKLES!

Unless Richard Cheese is kicking everyone in the twigs and berries right before every game and each half-inning, it's hard to blame him for this dumpster fire. At SDX, we knew this probably wasn't going to be a title season, but after 21 games of watching this diarrhea, we're about to send nine rabid dogs out there for our next few games, and then let the bullpen do its job. We have nothing but praise for our relief pitchers. They've been very good. Even Jesse Crain, who's addicted to walking in runs. But the rest of this crapfest? (EXPLETIVE DELETED) 'em! AND YOU CAN PRINT THAT. (ELONGATED EXPLETIVE DELETED). :)

Posted by Jason and Larry on 4/19
E-MAIL EXCHANGE FROM THE HIZZOUSE

Larry: I know I will have to wait until Sunday, but I'm already envisioning a 3 game sweep......

Jason: Alright McDude. I'll play it tonight just for you. I weep when I see how much talent I gave you on that Indiana team.

Jason (after the Indiana sweep): Well Larry, that was prophetic. Indiana swept New Jersey and it wasn't even close.

Larry: I think I have a good idea of what I will do post retirement....open my own fortune telling shop in Tabor.

Posted by ASPN Insider on 4/16
QUARTER SEASON LEAGUE LEADERS

BATTING AVERAGE
1. Miguel Cabrera (SAC) .400; 2. Elvis Andrus (AC) .375; 3. Shane Victorino (WIC) .368
RBI
1. Miguel Cabrera (SAC) 23; 2. Hunter Pence (OMA) 19; 3. Chipper Jones (IND), BJ Upton (NAS) 18
HITS
1. Elvis Andrus (AC), Miguel Cabrera (SAC) 30, 3. Shane Victorino (WIC) 28
HOME RUNS
1. Miguel Cabrera (SAC) 11; 2. BJ Upton (NAS) 7; 3. Carlos Santana (MIN), Adrian Beltre (LV), Travis Hafner (BOI), Mike Morse (MIN), Hunter Pence (OMA) 6
ERA
1. Gio Gonzalez (WIC) 1.26; 2. CC Sabathia (BIR) 1.35; 3. Randy Wolf 1.42
INNINGS PITCHED
1. Cliff Lee (IND) 36.0; 2. Justin Verlander (SPK) 35.0; 3. CC Sabathia (BIR) 33.1
STRIKEOUTS
1. Cliff Lee (IND) 45; 2. Justin Verlander (SPK) 43; 3. Clayton Kershaw (AC), CC Sabathia (BIR) 38
SAVES
1. Mariano Rivera (AC) 5; 2. Frank Francisco (BOI), Carlos Marmol (STA), Andrew Bailey (OKL), Fernando Salas (TUC) 4

Posted by ASPN Final Score on 4/16
STRONG HITTING PROPELS QUAKES ATOP WEST
The past week featured two series that pitted the first and second place teams. In the first of these, Indiana Stars manager Brian Buchanan decided to do a little lineup juggling. It didn't work as the Trumps took two games of the series, climbing into second place in the east in the process, and two games back of the division-leading Stars. New Jersey started their climb up the standings with a sweep in Memphis, and Rhode Island won their second straight series last week, though they're still in last place for the moment.

In the other such clash, Sacramento went into the Arizona desert and used the hitting of league-leading Miguel Cabrera to sweep past the strong pitching of the Tucson Cacti, wresting control of the western division from the Cacti. That left the western division much more bunched up as well. There's only a four-game gap from first to last place.

That's not as close as the northern division, in which Minnesota extended their division lead to two games last week, but all five teams are within three games of the lead.

This week, Tucson heads into Vegas for part 1 of the Desert Baseball Classic, to try and regain thier division lead, while Sacramento heads back home to take on Orlando, the other SDX franchise. Another series featuring the first and second place teams is afoot, this time in the northern division, when Calgary heads to Minnesota.

Posted by Bruce on 4/15
Tucson is officially looking for another catcher....preferrably one that can play more than two consecutive games without becoming tired or injured. We're a little tired of Jason Giambi's buffoonery behind the plate.

Posted by Larry on 4/15
(In response to the usual XBL reminder e-mail sent Sunday early evening....directed to Jason)

There seems to be a pattern here....lol

   *Posted by Jason on 4/15
     Hey I save Sunday night for my APBA night. It is good luck.

   *Posted by Larry on 4/15
     Bruce appointed me the Deputy Commissioner of Compliance (Commissioner's note: Ummm....what?).  Since you are a repeat offender, your case has been elevated to the Executive Council .

Posted by SDX International on 4/14
CRAPS.....CATCH THE FEVER
This team just isn't ... good. We needed back-to-back walks (including walking in the game-winner for the only "walk-off" that should ever be referred to ... an inside-the-park home run is most DEFINITELY not a "walk-off," ESPN. Idiots.) just to get one win.

SDX has announced it's really tired of looking at those piles of gelatinous goo wearing Craps uniforms, so in the immortal words of grand exalted old-school APBA legend Curt Caldwell to his players, "You lost. You suck. Let's trade!" Bring it, league. Need first basemen, catchers, hitters who can, you know, hit, starting pitchers, a dancing flamingo and a picture of the commissioner smirking at a pickle. LET'S DO IT!

Posted by Brian on 4/11
Trumps take two (from Indiana)

     *Posted by Larry on 4/12
       You're killing me.....tried to overthink my lineups....this is baseball why am I thinking????

Posted by ASPN Final Score on 4/10
SEAS OF MEDIOCRITY
Well, we've had a few hiccups, but we're here at the quarter pole of the 11th XBL season, and what do we know?

Well, not much, to be honest. Though Tucson, Oklahoma and Indiana, the most nomadic franchise of this league (Now on their third owner and fourth city) are playing the best baseball and each lead their respective divisions by at least two games.

We know that Rhode Island went back to their old ways after a season in which they very nearly made the playoffs, and finally managed to win a series last week in Orlando, who, in the words of Chris Griffin, played like a bunch of lazy seals (translate seal to French).

We also know that the New Jersey Rhinos are definitely not the team of old, that won three straight XBL titles between 2002-2004. Rather they're the team of old, that finished dead last in the XBL's first season, prompting management to start the "Manage the Rhinos" campaign, where a fan would be drawn to manage the team until they lost, when he'd be replaced by another manager drawn by lottery.

Most of all, most of the league has played very mediocre baseball, including the defeding champions in Sacramento, who are headed to Tucson this week to try and catch the division leaders, and Indiana heads into Atlantic City to face the Trumps' home tourists and keep thier hot start alive, while the Trumps look to re-claim the style of ball they'd played the last two seasons.

It's still very early and a lot can still happen, but it should prove interesting as the season moves toward the halfway point.

Posted by Larry on 4/7
STARS TAKE OUT ANOTHER TRUMP TEAM
After the Stars' first game shutout of the expansion Armada, Staten Island was ready to take the ferry to the baseball boneyard.  Cooler heads prevailed and they managed to eke out a one-run victory in game two.  Another shutout in game three reinvigorated the "Take the Ferry" crowd.