Love Letters

These letters were written by Andie and Pacey when Andie was in the hospital over the summer. They were feature in the Dawson's Desk tops .

Pacey... 

It's tough here. I look around this place and see so many teenagers just like me. I don't want to be like them. One girl, Tina, has been here for six months. Another guy, Marc, was in three different facilities before finally coming to this one. I'm scared. What if I can't get better? What if I'm not able to come home? Even if I do get better, my dad's made it pretty clear he's not moving to Capeside. The thought of never seeing you again... that stresses me out more than the thought of being crazy. So, stay out of trouble and keep those Christy Livingstone's away. I put a lot of effort into you. And if you think I'm going to let some other girl have you, you're the one who is crazy. I hope you are thinking of me. I am always thinking of you... your bright strong shoulders and sweet smile. I love you so much, it hurts. 

Please don't forget me, Pacey. You are my world. 

...Andie

There is something inside of you that makes you different from everyone else in that hospital. You've had the benefit of being Pacey Witter's sparring partner for the past year. And if you can survive that, then you can most definitely survive Mayfield. I'm glad you are on the road to recovery. And I'm glad you had the good sense to go away and get better. If it was up to me, I would never have let you go. Don't worry about any Christy Livingstone's. I'm a one-woman kid of guy and that woman will always be you. You have become my world, Andie. The first moment you laughed in my direction -- I knew. You came to Capeside and recognized my nakedness. And yet, you still chose to run with me. I'll wait forever for you to be complete, because, it is you that has made me complete. 

I love you, McPhee.

 ---Pacey

 Thank you for your beautiful words. They helped to calm me. Moving in and getting settled has been incredibly stressful. But now that I'm here, I'm relieved. I met with my therapist today. She's been trying to help me cope with my anxiety and stress. In our first session, she asked me to tell her what makes me feel the most nervous. But before I got halfway through the list, my hour was over. Do me a favor, okay? Watch out for Jack. I hope you guys are hanging out. He's all alone right now. I mean, he has Jen and Grams, who are wonderful, but they're not family. You are, Pacey. You are my family. I never thought it was possible to love someone so much. I want to get better for myself. Even more, I want to get better for you. I want us to have a good life, Pacey. And we will, as long as we have each other.

 I hope I'll be home... to you... soon .

...Andie

I was happy to get your letter lodged somewhere between Dougie's "Playgirl" and mom's "Publisher Clearing House." Sounds like you're doing better. I like that! Not much news here. Dawson's in Philly with his mom. I haven't seen Joey at all. It looks as if the Ice House isn't going to be rebuilt. I should call her. I wish you were here. You always know just the right thing to say. I'm meeting Jack and Jen tonight to watch a movie. In the absence of Dawson, we're socking in all the non-Spielberg's we missed during the year. Movie night at Jens is pretty sweet. She has the only thing that Dawson doesn't -- breasts. Just kidding. Snacks. She's got snacks. Grams is a virtual Betty Crocker. Rock on, Grams! Too bad we're keeping you off the computer for the time being. In the future, just so I know, would Cyber sex be a possibility or am I on my own here?

XOXOXO

-- Pacey

Yes, things are getting better. The longer I'm here, the happier I am with my decision. I'm getting well, Pacey. I really am. But not enough about me, what about you? You never told me what happened with finals. Did you re-take them? I'm sure it's hard not having Dawson around. But, it's great you're hanging out with Jack and Jen. I hope your dad is treating you better. Someday he'll fully understand what a truly remarkable son he has. Good news!!! My dad has decided to move his business to Capeside in the fall! That means there is no need for Cyber Sex. Which, by the way, could come back to haunt me if I ever ran for office. Don't worry, we can make up for lost time when I see you. Just promise me it won't be in the back of you Dad's cop car.

Sending you my love and my laughter.

...Andie

What are you talking about? The back of a cop car is perfect for our first night back together. 1. We've got plenty of space. 2. No one ever approaches a cop car. And most importantly -- 3. Handcuffs! Live a little, Baby. My finals went fine. I got to retake them and I did well. The best I've ever done in fact, thanks to you. I've gotta study hard if I want to get into whatever Ivy League school you wind up attending. Nothing else is happening. My dad got called to the Marina, investigating a possible break-in. He saw Joey there, working or something. I might drive down and say "hi." If I do, I'll tell her you said hello. Dawson called from Philly -- he's having a great time. The city's opened his eyes to the big wide world around him. He was talking, and talking, and did I mention talking., about this girl named Amber. I tried to listen to him, but I can't focus on anyone but you. "Moving the business to Capeside -- Go Mr. McPhee!!! I'd say this deserves that carriage ride in Central Park you always talk about. I've saved he money. Now all I need is you. Hurry home to me, McPhee. I miss you. I need you. A ached to see you.

I love you

-- Pacey

Just a quick note. Congrats on your finals. I'm so proud of you. You saw Joey at the Marina? Logan's Marina was looking for summer employment. I wonder if she's working for Rob? I'm glad Dawson is moving on. We all have to do that, you know? My therapist has me working on "loving myself." She helped me realize that I was depending on you, like I used to depend on Tim. I can't continue to do that, Pacey. Nothing in life is guaranteed. I need to feel safe with myself before I can be a true partner to you. The carriage ride sounds wonderful. Tell Jack, Jen and Grams that I said hi!

Love, always.

... Andie

I know we said we wouldn't get all mushy and retrospective. But, I'm going to get all mushy and retrospective. I'm really missing you, McPhee. I can't wait for you to come home, so we can pick up right where we left off -- dancing beneath the fountain and street lights. Every night when I close my eyes, I feel your arms around me. I want to touch your hair and kiss your lips. I want you to tickle my neck and whisper in my ear... What your therapist says is true. Yes, in life there are no guarantees. But you don't have to be perfect to be my partner. You just have to be... you. When you get back, promise me the "first dance."

I love you

-- Pacey

 That place better be treating you right, otherwise, I'm gonna come up and whisk you away to some deserted island. Well, since I'm only making minimum wage at the Video Store, how about I whisk you away to a campground in Rhode Island? How about it, Andie, are you up for a visit? I haven't heard from you in a while. Did my "Romeo letter" send you into shock? Write me so that I know that you are okay. I'm feeling left out. I mean you know, I don't even know what you hair color is. I can't stop thinking about you...your long legs, funny smile and that laugh--I long for your laugh. Please don't forget me, Andie.

You are my world too.

-- Pacey

I'm sorry for not writing as much. I don't want you to worry. Blonde. My hair is blonde. The dye finally washed out and after a little (supervised) trip to the hair salon, it's back to normal. On the outside, I'm the same old Andie. But on the inside, well, I'm still working on it. I'll be home to Capeside soon, but I'm not as anxious about leaving.. I watched the beautiful sunset the other day and thought of you. Mayfield's helped me to see that there's also a sunrise. I'm learning how to be at peace with myself. No overnight visitors allowed, Pacey. I think it's better for me to be alone right now.

Take care and I'll see you soon.

 Love.. Andie